Relak Day

I'm glad there's nowhere to go tonight, just listening to Maps by Yeah Yeah Yeahs.
I'm glad there's no school tomorrow, so I don't have that nagging dreading feeling on my back.

Just watch the National Day Parade. First time. And first time as a PR! I probably won't go back to Malaysia to live, because to me KL is dirty, claustrophobic, messy, inconvenient, traffic. :/ What others appreciate about it, maybe the mamak stalls (I never went to it, don't like it-dirty), shopping? (hmm don't like seeing the prices in larger numbers heh). What else? Home is there, but to me home is where family is. Anyways, the location of my house is no longer nice, houses mushrooming up everywhere. Even on the small plot where I buried my tortoise:(

This week was really sweet besides floorball trainings. Monday was suppose to be a meet-up with IB friends, but - even as I type this I'm still quite awed/surprised/touched by what they did.
I'm 21 this year. I knew i'd be in KL on that day, so no big party for me yo. They surprised me on the day I left, even calling my dad to come a little later so they could surprise me with really good cake.:)
My family wanted to throw me a party, but really who's there to invite? I'm not the kind that loves big parties of acquaintances, all my sec school friends are overseas, besides, there's only a handful of lovelies I still keep in contact with. So anyways, I told myself or just felt why do I have to make 21 so special. It's a "norm" created, I don't have to accept it. Yet somehow, on that Monday, I don't know why, I suddenly pondered that this year the only celebrations was with my family and IB friends. I felt a sad kind of thankfulness that I had them.
(Okay I think this is going to be a long post. Stifle that yawn thank you.)
That monday I had went to complete my PR stuff, and Rowena gave me the impression that when I was done they would be ready. haha. When I was done, called her, she's still out buying "stuff", told me to take my time. Called anh, said she's running errands, thought everyone is only meeting at five. 5!! I growled.(Sorry anh!) Yes I am such a prima donna. I hate waiting with nothing to do. If I could plan sth it's ok, but when I'm caught unprepared I hate it. (That's why I don't like to be early. Bad habit, stemming from self-conciousness). Yes it was super grouchy of me, and I do realise, after my US trip with my sisters, that letting my bad mood/slightedness show isn't very nice.
It was really a surprise. When we entered I was wondering why Shawna was hiding behind the curtains- cheap thrill. When they started singing happy birthday I was like oops looking around shoots who's birthday is it? I forgot! Haha.
They really really really put in so much effort. So much details- the decorations, the props, the cake(awesommest ferrero-rocherish base ever), gifts(onitsuka tiger shoes!!- side story, on my 19th I brought them into an onitsuka tiger store, but felt too guilty to get them to buy me a pair:p and a holga! they tricked my by rowena pretending to be interested in getting one), theme (stripes,national day), venue(fun icon!), cards (huge, decorated with photos too!), food (Seriously, lovely food eg vietnamese, macaroons, sushi, fried stuff, cupcakes that had sweet but nice icing - who needs a part planner company?
These people gave me a really nice surprise on my 19th, like really nice- planned one where each would get on the train at a different station with a different present:D (Hey guys maybe we should make this an alternate year thing? Haha!)
The gifts were a delight- yes I'm materialistic. (The dress too Twink!). See the photos and it's pure unadulterated delight on my face. :D
I wish the night was longer, that all of us had nothing on the next day, that tiredness did not seep in...
:)

Tuesday's training was tough, emotionally. But the team trip to Kelong did me good, although the budget for a new stick is gone. The impromptu sharing revealed a lot, made me feel less alone. It's really hard for me now, esp with my confidence issues which doesn't help my level of skill, which is lacking from the lack of trainings. In the past year I pulled out of competitions twice due to exams, so didn't learn much. I'm the slowest, least skilled player in the team now. I know I will improve, but at this point as a senior, I should be much much better. Then again, most of the team understands and hopefully the coach as well.

Aiyah Prisca just put in more effort and stop worrying!

Wednesday to Friday I went for the Navigators camp. Hmm, I didn't join the Navs last year, cos I had a (mistaken) impression that they were a little bit weird. Somehow, my dad met a graduate who stayed with a Nav couple. I actually was feeling a bit jaded from staying in hall. Like being stuck in the NUS bubble 24/7. Hall is not really a happy place for me. Superficial people get to me. Anyways, so there is a Nav apt that I'm looking into moving to.
Anyways, back to the camp. Nav ppl are super friendly. Of course there are moments of feeling out of place, but maybe I've matured, maybe it's different there, those moments didn't tarnish the whole experience. They are all super genuinely nice, and most importantly in a proactive way, ie much effort wasn't required to get to know them. Even the guys. It's a small group, so :)

Then saturday was floorball again. Met the coach properly for the first time. Had small group session before training. After a while he pulled me aside and said that I was afraid to make mistakes in front of him. And it's not helping cos he wouldn't know if I'm just nervous or lacking-in-skills. True. Something I have to work at, not just in floorball. Other than that, training was good. The pace is better, I hardly looked at the clock, when I did, was glad to find that time had passed quickly. Wasn't as tired. Learnt of course. Acquired 3 blisters and a headache. :( But this time no tingly feelings in my hand.

Sunday. Met cell. Glad to be back. Funny moments in cell. Cell lunch was kinda fun. Being fetched to the bus stop a bonus. Came back. Roommate home. (Hmm why am I doing the what I did blah blah blah).

Yup so will go running when the sun rises. School starts Tuesday.