Ph*** You

This diva has been so misunderstood.

I don't have to prove anything to anyone.

Your loss, not mine. Yeah right.

Oh snap out of it.

Shut upshutup

Disatisfied

I'm saying it out loud.

I AM DISATISFIED WITH LIFE.

Perhaphs I should think long and deep and count my blessings and all that harumph for once I just want to shoot my mouth (off) and make a fool of myself by listing why I am disatisfied with life.

1) My parents had to go back.
2) I can't not procrastinate.
3) I am not socially polite enough.
4) I find I can't think nicely of a lot of people.
5) I am fatter than I would like to be.
6) I have bad skin.
7) Big hip/butt and chunky legs.
8)I don;t even want to finish this list.

Well comign to the end of it, the list can go on and on, and life stillgoes on, and in the bigger pic life isnt that bad. But I tend to look small puzzle in pic that jsut won't fit.

I need to change. Fast.

What is the world coming to..

When you can't pass motion in peace? (excuse me)

ARGHARGHARGH.
:(

Like fine wine in the open, my dad gets funnier and funnier

Dear Daddy,

I'm really sorry to be asking money from you again. You have been mroe than generous but I've just spent it all again. Its basically on food food food and 1 shirt(9 dollars) and 2 bags (16 and 27) and a book.

So basically, mummy said to list all my fees. so here it is.

For month of June to december,
6X50=300
Printing costs and misc :
120
Prom ticket: 100

So that is about 500 in all.

I've paid for june fees, printing and prom ticket and now I have about ten dollars with me. :/
Please don't kill me.

Love
Prisca

His reply:
DEar Prisca,

Your request for more money is noted.
I'll check with the Finance Minister and will advise you accordingly.
Meanwhile, we need a face to face interview soon.


Love from dad


-_-.......

Haha okay at least he can still joke about it. sigh. this IB@acsi is really costing me, or rather them

Inside

I've got to say that I've got angry hornets inside of me.

i've let some out, and I desperately want to get the rest out but I dunno what will happen.

How do I dispose of them properly?

Oh God

Living on the edge

So far 2 people have said that to me. That I'm living on the edge. My mom and my bio teacher. Both refer to my last minuteness.

Ah well shall list the list of consequences of my lastminuteness next time.

So anyway, I managed to print out the 150 pages of my EE. WAh so much paper!

But thanks to mr danny t for helping! (I wish I took art. All those books and macs and cameras.. sigh)

so I stayed back to wait for mr lai to finish his meeting os i could hand in my much stress induced ee. for him more than me sometimes i think. haha. okay not haha. but you know...

So i was in teh cool comfort of the library but then my phone batt died so i went upstairs to wait outside the staff room. sat at the bench and did some work. WOW ONE OF THE VERY VERY FEW TIMES I ACTUALLY DO MY WORkSHEETS!!!! :D

haha so even though i waited till 5, it was very productive. but just on the wrong day!
Today i was suppose to rush my world lit so I could meet ruby dear's mother to go through it. Thank goodness she canceled but i still had to email it. so it didnt leave me much time to do it. Oh I should have done it straight after meeting her the last time. Sigh. Getting help and not appreciating it. Yes, this is one of the consequences of my last minuteness.

but wow.. I actually spent the evening doing work! straight from 8 to 10. WHEE.

//
Ugh just collected my laundry. came in, saw my basket LYING on the floor, my clothes piled up on the shelf (AT LEAST IT WAS ON THE SHELF).
I was so pissed I kepy on muttering bad words. I wanted to write a sarcastic note to that scum of the earth like thanks so much for making my day! or worse i hope you and your clothes burn in hell. (it was in the dryer after all ). but that terrible i know. then I kinda realise the girl who was there ironing too had the same clothes that were on the shelf before i placed my clothes in the dryer which was UNOCCUPIED. so maybe, maybe, she thought i was the one that dumped her clothes there and she took revenge like how i wanted to. sigh i really dont know. but there were so many UNOCCUPIED dryers so why did that person have to use the one i was using. And the way my basket was thrown on the floor, looks liek that person really hates me. In a personal way. (my name is written on it. )

speculate speculate but i decided not ot pissed already. sigh

Is this what you call discontented.......?

So.... results that are better than it should be..

...friends......

...not too dry spiritually....

...so far okay with family.. (except still havent got that present for my brother!)

Yet I feel like I'm on the edge of desperation.


//

Today Anh mentioned her not being part of the group and i was a tad defensive and said well she should be the one inviting her. I mean after what happened ain't I one of the last to be inviting her?

But then, good thing anh got a little hurt by my strong reaction, cos it made me think.

And I think Jesus would invite her. He would do more. But what I'll do is be nice.And inclusive. I never really wanted soemthing like that to happen. In fact, I'd thought I would be the one on the outside.

I hope something good comes out of this.

//

70! For german. Apparently, I am ranked 1. It means top out of the four in my class, but secretly I wish to think that its rank 1 in the world. Muahaha.

But seriously, as rowe said, "God must really love you a lot. "

Yeah, I know.

Edit:
Well actually you won't know your scores. So 70 is the lower limit/boundary? of the 6 points range. so all the 6 pointers were put down as ranked 1. -_-. but the 6 still shows God really loves me. haha

1:33 am

so many thoughts when you're the only one up at this hour. and the lights are out and corrine may is playing.

So its blank for a while. Which of these thoughts to put down? They're not very nice, but not that bad.

Let's start.

I feel guilty when I don't treat this person nicely. But I think I want to stop feeling guilty about not liking the person. There. I've said it. I kept thinking I was horrible and being nit-picky, but hey, I really don't like some things about that person.

//

warm cold cold warm hot warm cold cold cold....
And yet I still want to be your friend. Are you when you're cold?
Huh.

//
Say it to myself, I am not in love with anyone. So no one can affect me. Maybe except guy berryman and milo ventimiglia.

But I'm still tearing.

//
Being left out really hurts. And makes me angry.

//
I wish someone would take me away.

Then again, I don't know if I could stand the company all the time



ugh. so "emo". i need art as an outlet. You know the thing about art, everyone can do it. Like Indonesia can have good art but not necessarily good science. You know? Science is black and white, at least for now and you need progress and whatnot to be good in it. but Art, its in all of us. So anyone anywhere can produce good art. You don't have to have a high GDP to have good art. No one can say your art is wrong.

So I'm hoping I can call myself an artist one day.

Don't comment.

Upheave...sigh

disappointment.

am i savable? will you pick me up from the ashes? rather, in this case my enemies is procrastination, laziness, no sense of urgency...

Instead of just typing stuff that make half sense, I shall risk the wrath of my mom.(I know.)

I had 5 days, well 4 if you must minus sunday to study for geog and maths. I did maths on sat and mon thinking i could handle geog on tues and wed. Tues I tried to study but only managed to read a few pages and gave up due to sleepiness. Todday I woke up later than I wanted and did everything to avoid studying. (and I didnt even do much of maths!)

Then before you know it its evening and I want to give up and yet I am so scared that I cannot write anything.

I am so so scared. Looking at the past year questions..



Yes I am so so scared and stupid that I come here to find a little solace.